Wednesday, June 21, 2017

KOMMISSAR X - DREI GOLDENE SCHLANGEN - "Three Golden Serpents" (1969)

I thought I had done all the Kommissar X movies, but once again, I was wrong! We have a hard time keeping up with what we've done, and with all the foreign titles released with three or four different titles, it gets to be a bit of a fustercluck at times! 

 I do know we've done the Kommissar X film "So Darling, So Deadly" from 1966, and we've done "Kiss Kiss.. Kill Kill" also from 1966, but tonight, from 1969, I'm here to present:
"Three Golden Serpents!!!"

Here are our heroes once again, Tony Kendall as Joe Walker, aka Kommissar X.....

...............and Bad Brad Harris as Captain Tom Rowland!!

Filmed in Thailand, "Three Golden Serpents" is really a wonder to behold at times!

 The basic story is that these two guys are pissed because they missed the free semen at The Rolling Stones concert the week before!

Pretty discreet! You'd never know this guy was watching someone!!

"Three Golden Serpents" is a film about poisons of all kinds, mostly used for nefarious reasons!

This movie is just filled with weird shots like this!

Everything seems real cozy in Thailand! Kommissar X smokes about 50 packs of cigarettes in about an hour and a half!

 No, believe it or not, this isn't from a Spongebob cartoon!

Another interesting shot setting up a mediocre fight scene!

"The Three Golden Serpents" is a rat gang that kidnaps girls and takes them to this secluded island some 210 miles off the coast, then they shuttle the drugged johns over in a boat for a fun filled night of wild and crazy sex!!

Wow, I love both these signs!

Supposedly the song performed is sung by Angela Monti, and I honestly don't know if this is her or not, but it's a pretty good song, as is all the music in the film!

You don't want to find yourself in this predicament! You think you're going to have sex, and instead they drug you and turn you into a zombie, and this guy shows up in your room! Joe Walker should really know better than to get himself into messes like this, but he lets his other little head do a lot of his thinking for him, and this is how it works out!

 Brad and Tony looking pretty dapper like they're on their way to the Nevada Boxing Hall Of Fame 2017 induction ceremonies!!

Confusing? You bet!!

So this is something I didn't know about, it seems that in Thailand they have low tides that leave large fields of mud that if they need to cross, they use these little paddle boards that allow them to scoot along the top of the mud! The less fortunate have to try and trek through it on foot!  Pretty weird! For me, I'm going to paddle off now and see Alice Cooper in concert! If I survive, then I'll be back on Saturday with something special!

Monday, June 19, 2017

GAMERA 3 THE REVENGE OF IRIS / Daiei Studios - 1999

It's Gamera Time!! This is the final installment of the recent Gamera trilogy, the story goes like this... Schoolgirl Ayana discovers a large egg in a cave, that according to a legend, houses demons! The egg hatches into a small monster, which Ayana decides to raise and she quickly develops a psychic bond with it. As the monster, named Iris, grows to adulthood, our flying turtle hero, Gamera, begins to take an interest in this new potential threat.

Lumbering Gamera is tracking down Gayos to start the show, and Japan is paying the price!!

Here are two amazing shots of destruction! The top still shows people being flung into the air... WOW! Then, the second still has a flaming boulder rolling over a crowd... YOW!!

Iris hits the scene and the Army has no clue as to how they're going to stop the damn thing.

This is a beautiful shot of the ever transforming Iris from the rear as it flies through the air on its journey to set up camp in a Japanese city.

There's nothing but turmoil in the city after Iris makes its landing.

Here's a wild 'n' weird scene that has Iris attacking the city after his presence there causes extreme thunder storms!

Gamera plummets back to Earth after spending some time in space recovering from injuries obtained during his last battle with Iris, causing the whole area to catch fire after a mighty explosion! You can see Iris burning there in the bottom pic.

To me, this is the definition of sureal. Its a shot of a water puddle after an extreme storm!

And, speaking of surreal, just check out these three shots and the surrealistic beauty of the destruction going on there!

Anyway, Gamera rips the guts out of the dead Iris after an epic battle... Yuck!!

And, since this is the last episode of the trilogy, Gamera goes to the land of fire to die!! Go figure... We're back again with Wacky Wednesday, so, be there, or be a parallelogram!

Saturday, June 17, 2017

WHAT'S UP TIGER LILY? - Woody Allen - "Monk Fruit" (1966)

Tonight's Super Sweet Saturday Night Special is a film I hold near and dear to my heart for various nostalgic reasons, so let's just get this party started!

Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lily" was pretty out there for 1966. The only previous anything like this that I can remember was probably "Fractured Flickers!" 
Also in 1966, The Firesign Theatre would take it to another level without the visuals! Jeez, they just had a 50 year celebration last November, and I never even heard about it! Damn, these guys are my heroes!

So, let's talk about something else Asian, and my newest fave thing, 
Monk Fruit!

 Monk fruit is an all natural sweetener that has been used in Asia for centuries for digestive and respiratory problems! It is 150-200 times sweeter than sugar and improves liver function, is anti-diabetic, anti-carcinogenic, antibacterial, anti-allergenic, and decreases blood sugar, cholesterol and triglycerides! It has only been in the United States since 2009! So, that means, if we all just paid attention, and without any work at all, except switching from sugar to monk fruit, 50 gazillion people would no longer be overweight and diabetic. and I find that freakin' amazing!!!

Woody buys this film, re-dubs all the voices and sounds and adds music and scenes by The Lovin' Spoonful, and turns it into one rip-roaring comedy!

Despite being named after one of the most highly addictive drugs in history, The Lovin' Spoonful managed to rack up a huge amount of hits in the 1966, having one number one hit, "Summer In The City," and two number two chart smashers, "Daydream," and "Did You Ever Have To Make Up Your Mind?" The soundtrack for "What's Up Tiger Lily?" also went to number 126 on Billboard's top 200 in the same year!

Tatsuya (The Human Vapor) Mihashi is Phil Moscowitz! He has no idea he's in this movie!

I like this creepy No. 7 prison main gate sign!


Akiko (King Kong Vs. Godzilla,You Only Live Twice) Wakabayashi is no match for Phil! I'm really olde, but I don't ever remember MJB coffee being in a container that color!

I like this shot for some reason, maybe it's the muted colours!

C'mon, join the party! Yeehaw!!

I'd actually like to see the original version of this film, but I don't know if it exists or not! This was no cheap production and had quality star power like the always cute Mie Hama who was also in both "King Kong Vs. Godzilla," and "You Only Live Twice!

This is my favourite kind of long shot!

Without all the voices being dubbed in with ridiculous lines, you'd never know what was going on by this still alone! That Woody Allen, besides being a horndog corndog, was also a very deceptive person!

Just werid!

All I can say is, that is quite a stance!!

That's some high tech shit!!

This is about as much as you can try to understand!

Wink, wink, nudge, was all a joke my friend!!

Woody lays on the couch while this gal strips and the ending credits roll! Just enough time to back it up, and watch it one more time cause I'm telling you....

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??