Wednesday, December 7, 2016

TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED - Roald Dahl - Season 01, Episode 01 - "The Man From The South" (1979)

 So, if this isn't what you expected, then you've come to the right place!
Welcome to Dwrayger Dungeon where the unexpected comes naturally, because even we,
 don't know what we're doing!

"Tales Of The Unexpected" was on British TV from 1979 to 1988, and I just heard about it last week for the first time from our Berlin epistolarian, Lord Litter!
What a guy!! 
"The Man From The South" was the first episode of the first season!

 Roald Dahl was a very interesting cat, and hopefully is enshrined somewhere for all his contributions to Pop Culture over the last 50 years that most people don't even know about!  Let me try and fix some of that!

Roald Dahl is an enigma indeed! He wrote tons of thriller/horror short stories, and he was the host of the Pre-Twilight Zone TV series, that I still think is one of the weirdest TV shows ever produced, 
He also wrote Children's stories like the original "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," of which he was stripped of his duties for failing to make the deadline, and after it was completed by David  Seltzer, Roald disdained the rewrite so much that he would have nothing further to do with it!
He was said to have coined the word 'gremlin' during World War II, and he made up nonsense words that are now part of the English language like 'Oompa Loompa,' and 'Scrummdiddlyumptious!'

This is a completely different kind of  unexpected tale from 1961, and has nothing to do with this show at all!

 Accept respect, expect decept!

                     What exactly did you expect?

 I'm watching this show, and suddenly something happened that was totally unexpected!
It was like some kind of deja vu! I knew I had seen this before, but the problem was that I knew the story, but I didn't recognize any of the characters! So you start wondering how senile you really are, before you realize that this is a remake! 

 "The Man From The South" was written by Roald Dahl and is the exact same story that was portrayed on "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" starring Steve McQueen and Peter Lorre in 1960, but back then, who was gonna notice that 19 years later? The scene has changed from Las Vegas to Jamaica, but the story is the same!

 José (Dracula's Dog, Dune) Ferrer has the role that Peter Lorre had, and Michael (Twin Peaks) Ontkean has Steve McQueen's role!

 It's a very simple story about a sucker bet, with the winner getting a Jaguar, and the loser ending up minus a pinky!

 Both versions include these two accessory characters! This time, it's Cyril (Dr. Who) Luckham, and Pamela (Superman III, Spitting Image, Bloodbath At The House Of Death) Stephenson!!

 Honestly, I don't even like this story! It's okay, but the first version was good eough! I'm looking forward to seeing what else Roald Dahl has to offer!

 So, light the lighter 10 times and win the Jag, or get your little finger cut off!



 And up pops the wife, as played by Mexican actress Katy (High Noon, One-Eyed Jacks) Jurado!
She chides her husband for being a moron, and tells the kids that he doesn't even own the Jaguar, she's the owner........

 .......And she's got the keys to prove it!!!

I've got over 50 more episodes  of "Tales Of The Unexpected" to watch, so I suspect you can expect to to be unexpected again some time real soon!
I guess you can call anybody anything, because I always though that William Castle was the "Master of the Macabre!" Kind of like those signs that say 'Coldest Beer In Town,'
who really knows, and how do you prove it?

Monday, December 5, 2016

BLADE RUNNER / Ladd Company, The Shaw Brothers - 1982

Here's a movie directed by the awesome Ridley Scott, and, the story goes like this... In the futuristic year of 2019 (Whoa, during Trump's rule), Los Angeles has become a dark and depressing metropolis, filled with urban decay, where our hero, ex-cop, Deckard, is a "Blade Runner". Blade Runners are people assigned to assassinate "Replicants", what are androids that look like actual humans. When four Replicants commit a bloody mutiny at the Off World colony, Deckard is called out of retirement to track down the criminals. As he tracks them, he comes across another Replicant, Rachel, who evokes human emotions, and becomes involved with her.

As Deckard closes in on the leader of the outlaw Replicants, his hatred toward artificial intelligence makes him question his own identity, including what's human and what's not human!.. Good luck with that!

Here are some of the stars in this amazingly visual production... Harrison (STAR WARS) Ford, Rutger (THE HITCHER) Hauer, Sean (DUNE) Young, Edward James (WOLFEN) Olmos, Daryl (SPLASH) Hannah and many more.

The aerial shots above the city are simply stunning, tasty eye candy wherever you look!

It's hard to tell where things begin and end! For me, this is some kind of ultimate surrealistic claustrophobia! Man, you just can't get away from it...

Inside, things are just as busy! Hey, nice shot of some sexy prostitutes there!

Here's Deckard at work, interrogating some chump from the streets about something... The minimalism is a nice relief from the constant busyness.

This is Rachael, a Replicant!!

At least, smoking is still legal. 2019 is only two years away, so, it's funny how wrong they got it! It doesn't even look that different today than it did back in 1982!! What the Hell...

Of course, Deckard has a ton of adventures on the way to the conclusion. I really dig that restaurant the most!..

Rutger Hauer plays Roy Batty, bad-ass leader of the Replicants! Here, he crashes through a wall to get to his victim!!

Deckard goes for a spin with Edward James Olmos, in a freakin'... Spinner!!

At 117 minutes, the scenes go on and on, crime is always afoot somewhere in LA, 2019!!.. Okay then, a wise man would tell you, be back on Wednesday for more from The Dungeon!!

Saturday, December 3, 2016

LE SPIE UCCIDONO A BEIRUT - Carlo Savina - "Secret Agent Fireball" (1965)

In my opinion, nothing quite says the holidays like a damn good spy movie, and tonight's Saturday Night Special is just that, a movie about a spy who doesn't even have a number!!
In English, it's called "Secret Agent Fireball," and why the Hell not, because that pretty much tells the whole story in three words, and that makes my job real easy!!!

The Music in "Le Spie Uccidono A Beirut" is pretty much a swingin' affair from start to finish, with lots of stops for snacks in between! It was composed by the maestro extraordinaire Carlo Savina, who is also responsible for the music in such classics as "Assignment: Outer Space," "War Gods Of Babylon," "The Unnaturals," "Fangs Of The Living Dead," "Mr. Superinvisible," and "Night Of The Damned," etc. etc.!
And just in case you don't believe me, here's the music from the opening credits for your enjoyment!
Consider it an early X-Mas present!

Richard (Kronos, Fantabulous Inc) Harrison is Bob Fleming, aka "Secret Agent Fireball," and he's always working overtime!

I have a hatred of scenes with big curtains in the background that turn any room anywhere into a fancy office! It's just a personal peeve of mine!

"Secret Agent Fireball" is an action packed film with lots of one handed Judo chops that take out a guy in one serving!

This is what a tattoo shop looked like in 1965!

Besides action, "Secret Agent Fireball" has lot of other entertaining features like this on stage cat fight!

The posh crowd in the club goes wild!!

This club has another interesting feature! There's a phone on each table so each patron can just make random calls and talk anonymously or flirt with another table! You know it was all the rage!

Cool VW bus ambulance!

 I just donated a couple of bucks to Wikipedia to keep their doors open, and so should you so you can have easy access to information like the fact that this is the Amphicar Model 770  marketed in the United States from 1961-1967. The Amphicar offered only modest performance compared to most contemporary boats or cars, featured navigation lights and flag as mandated by Coast Guard — and after operation in water, required greasing at 13 points, one of which required removal of the rear seat. 
Cool but not too convenient!

These guys thought they were pretty neat monitoring a hidden microphone in Agent Fireball's Hotel room until he yelled into the microphone!

More entertainment!

And time for even more entertainment, but this time with a local flavor!

Insult the locals, and you're liable to find yourself in an uncool knife fight duel!

Black cars are rare these days, I wonder what happened! This black '57 Ford sure looks awesome!

Ending action movies is a bitch! They all try to come up with something super spectacular, and they usually go on for way to long! So hijacking a helicopter full of whiskey...........

.......And throwing said bottles at the escaping evildoers, and then shooting the spilled whiskey, causing it to spark and explode is not out of the question!

You can thank Cult Action for this one!!

Monster Music

Monster Music
AAARRGGHHH!!!! Ya'll Come On Back Now, Y'Hear??